"To take a young woman and run away" ~ Ala kachuu

A very strange tradition from a land far far away from ours.

Ala kachuu (Kyrgyz ала качуу) is a form of bride kidnapping still practised in Kyrgyzstan. The term can apply to a variety of actions, ranging from a consensual elopement to a non-consensual kidnapping and to what extent it actually happens is controversial. Some sources suggest that currently at least a third of Kyrgyzstan's brides are taken against their will.
"Kyz ala kachuu" (кыз ала качуу) means "to take a young woman and run away". The typical non-consensual variety involves the young man abducting a woman either by force or by guile, often accompanied by friends or male relatives. They take her to his family home, where she is kept in a room until the man's female relatives convince her to put on the scarf of a married woman as a sign of acceptance. Sometimes, if the woman resists the persuasion and maintains her wish to return home, her relatives try to convince her to agree to the marriage.

The bride kidnapping process sometimes includes rape. Even when sex does not take place, once a woman has been kept overnight, even for a single night, her virginity is put in doubt. With her honor disgraced, she will have very few other options for marriage. Thus, after one night of capture, the woman is culturally compelled to marry the man. Such immense social stigma is attached to a refusal to marry after a kidnap that the kidnapped woman usually feels that she has no choice but to agree, and some of those who refuse even commit suicide after the kidnapping.
Source for кыз ала качуу

Now, Kyrgyz is a predominant muslim country. How could this still being practiced?

O mankind, fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allah , through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allah is ever, over you, an Observer.

Surah an-Nisa' 4:1 states that men and women are created from a single soul (nafs wahidah). One person does not come before the other, one is not superior to the other, and one is not the derivative of the other. A woman is not created for the purpose of a man. Rather, they are both created for the mutual benefit of each other.

It is clearly stated that men and women are equal in Islam. By kidnapping a young girl, forcing her to marry a man who she didn't even know is qruel. This clearly goes against the teaching of Islam. Lets say, her bride kidnapper is a low life, good for nothing man. What do you think would happened to the girl? Although the girl can refused the strange marriage but after being held at the man's house, the perception of surrounding community will cause the girl to be in difficult situation. To accept the strange proposal and live with him or be defiant and reject the proposal and be portray as a girl who lose her virginity outside the wedding lock? In a land where superstituos overruled the logical thinking, its a situation where most girls will want to avoid because at times, the bride kidnapping involved raping of kidnapped girls.

But then again, who am I to judge what other countries or races tradition.....


Points to ponder, for men out there....

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala berfirman:

فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ

“Kemudian jika kalian khawatir tidak dapat berlaku adil maka nikahilah seorang wanita saja atau budak-budak perempuan yang kalian miliki.” (An-Nisa`: 3)

Yang dimaksud dengan adil di sini adalah dalam perkara lahiriah seperti adil dalam pemberian nafkah, tempat tinggal, dan giliran. Adapun dalam perkara batin seperti rasa cinta dan kecenderungan hati tidaklah dituntut untuk adil, karena hal ini di luar kesanggupan seorang hamba. Dalam Al-Qur`anul Karim dinyatakan:

وَلَنْ تَسْتَطِيعُوا أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا بَيْنَ النِّسَاءِ وَلَوْ حَرَصْتُمْ فَلاَ تَمِيلُوا كُلَّ الْمَيْلِ فَتَذَرُوهَا كَالْمُعَلَّقَةِ

“Dan kalian sekali-kali tidak akan dapat berlaku adil di antara istri-istri kalian, walaupun kalian sangat ingin berbuat demikian. Karena itu janganlah kalian terlalu cenderung kepada istri yang kalian cintai sehingga kalian biarkan yang lain telantar.” (An-Nisa`: 129)

Al-Hafizh Ibnu Katsir rahimahullah mengatakan ketika menafsirkan ayat di atas, “Maksudnya, kalian wahai manusia, tidak akan mampu berlaku sama di antara istri-istri kalian dari segala sisi. Karena walaupun bisa terjadi pembagian giliran malam per malam, namun mesti ada perbedaan dalam hal cinta, syahwat, dan jima’. Sebagaimana hal ini dikatakan oleh Ibnu ‘Abbas radhiyallahu ‘anhuma, ‘Abidah As-Salmani, Mujahid, Al-Hasan Al-Bashri, dan Adh-Dhahhak bin Muzahim rahimahumullah.”